sticky-yellowRadix - "I believe I will be happiest when there is nothing left for me to want."
I always want something. Always hungry. Always looking. But she'll be happy one day. She's so accomplished. I'm so proud of them.
sticky-yellowWas I happy before HIM??
No. Surely not. Hurts too bad to think about.
sticky-yellowName Ideas
Saint?
Martyer?
Sacrament?
Watcher?
Something with an N????? Why does that keep calling to me?
sticky-yellowStay or leave. Stay or leave. Stay leave. Leave stay. Does it matter? Would it change anything? They want to take the only thing-
sticky-yellowAll 'found' Saints have been transfigured. Transfigured??? Is that gonna happen to me? I've never changed. I can't change. I don't think I even make new cells anymore.
Do I make everything taste like cardboard?
sticky-yellowPreternatural. I studied that I think. Sometime. When? Why can't I remember?
sticky-yellowI can't remember.
sticky-yellowYour friends are Radix, Kraxtin, and Rose. They matter. Remember.
Radix - Blue Dragon. Confident. Always so sure of herself. I wanna be like them.
Kraxtin - Tall 'Frura' (What he says anyway; he has ranted about it.) Horns. DEER HORNS???? Those big goat eyes that remind me of the time I stared at a cow in a field. So smart. And strong! Hope I can learn enough to impress him sometime.
Rose - Big bird friend. Won't judge me for my meat habit because she eats bones.Kept one of her feathers in my bag so I can't forget. Makes me things and thinks of me without trying. Seems so good at magic. I used to be good at
What was I saying
sticky-yellowThey're using one saint for bloodletting. Is that allowed? Who did that person used to be before they turned them into a bloodbag? Am I sick because I'm a saint or because I'm kind???
I'm kind. I'm kind still. I will not transfigure. I will not become something they can justify hurting.
sticky-yellowYOU CAN NEVER GO BACK. I CAN BITE AND SCRATCH BUT YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK DISGRACE
sticky-yellowI resent you for having each other. I resent you for being so sure. Is it supposed to be so easy? To be so sure in your body? To be so sure of your sense of self? I resent it all
sticky-yellowI love the way teeth love tendons. I love how the tendon loves a bruise. I love how adrenaline loves the pounding in my ears. I fall in love with everything and it always feels like having my throat cut
sticky-yellowIf I can't remember, why am I shaking
sticky-yellowI miss Gold. I wonder if he misses me too. I hope he's not too lonely in that big place all alone.
sticky-yellowLife feels like running my tongue over the empty socket of a rotten tooth
sticky-yellowRose - "Being with people you like. Being safe."
They make me so happy but they don't know what I was. I don't know what I was. Who am I anymore. I'm nothing without HIM.
sticky-yellowAm I good for nothing but dying?
sticky-yellowOf course I'm angry. Do you have any idea how many times someone could have saved me?
sticky-yellowI don't remember writing this
sticky-yellowAaron Thestle. Dead. Does anyone care? Did he die in pain? Does his god miss him? Oh what I would give to know
sticky-yellowPenemue. I need to remember that. I need to. I don't know why but someone mentioned it. It's in the books. They crossed them out. Why?? Who were they??? They had to have been someone. Why are they okay with this.
sticky-yellowVoiding Slumber. Still Alive. But there's nothing written. Surely I can find the dungeons.
sticky-yellowI am slipping. I find myself talking nonsense. My mind circles like a vulture down the drain.